February 26, 2009


in my dream there was a narrator, and i was a 13 year old amish girl. my mom put my 3 year old sister in a birdcage and told me i had to carry her around in that. we walked to the airport where my sister was harassed by a group of school boys in uniforms. i took a different hallway so we wouldn't get beaten up. we flew to pittsburgh where there was a baseball game. my old friend from my previous life was the catcher for the team, i gave him a kiss and he played very well. the narrator said that times were so hard, my sister would end up getting pregnant and having a child by the age of four. eventually we would end up homeless, or something along those lines. then i woke up.

February 23, 2009


dream that i was back in high school, walking up to the bus stop. there were leaves all around on the ground and i couldn't fly but if i walked in a circle i could levitate maybe a foot in the air if i kept my feet moving. i had on a dress that swirled around when i spun.
i couldn't find joe because he left the house after me. the bus came really early and i said i couldn't get on because i had to be with my brother. the bus left, then joe came up the road to pick me up in my moms van. we drove back to our house and it was summer on our street. the driveway was empty, so our parents were gone. and the house was locked, so we had no way of getting to school- since joe is grounded from driving and i choose not to. angelina jole came out from our backyard and she said she could drive us to school, because she was my aunt. but then joe disappeared again. every time i looked at my watch it was 4:20 and i was so nervous that my boss was going to fire me, because how would she believe me even if i told her what had happened. angelina kept saying the words series of unfortunate events until i told her she should probably leave our house since she was no help to us.

February 22, 2009

my eyes are tired

February 20, 2009


i was at a friends house and there was dirt on my palm. i went to the sink to get it off and i could feel a really big blister right in the center of my hand, the more i washed my hands the bigger i realized it was. i started picking at it and ended up peeling a whole layer of my skin off. but it wasn't just on my palm, it was like a mold of my whole hand, and with it my index finger came off. it had been disconnected from my hand the whole time and when i removed the blister it came too. so i had 4 fingers and immediately i knew that this meant i could never make anything anymore. i tried to put my finger back on but even with it back on my hand and fingers couldn't bend or work correctly. oh i was so sad. and so shocked, this wasn't the plan for my life!!! i wanted to be okay with this, and be okay that i could never write or draw or create ever again. i cried so much in my dream. sitting on my knees and just looking at this finger that was no longer a part of my body. everyone said it was okay, the lord has a different plan for you, and i said i know i'm okay with whatever happens. but i wasn't. i was not okay with it as many times as i repeated it out loud and to myself. i woke up in sweat.

February 19, 2009


i was at a bookstore getting 173 dollars worth of books about dinosaurs and elephants and bears for my research project that is due in a week, but my backpack was so full i didn't know how to carry everything, so the cashier gave me a plastic laundry basket to put my books in. i wanted to make sure i put them in the right order because there was one ruth krauss book that i had bought for my own personal reading because in real life, i really like her work. it was about an elephant with bear ears and the cover was green i remember, and maurice sendak did the illustrations again and the whole time in my dream i could not stop thinking about when i could read that book.

there was a really long slanted hallway out to the road that i needed to get to so i put the basket on the ground and sat on top of my books and slid the whole way down. the street i had to cross was extremely busy but i had a limited amount of time to cross, because i needed to be at the health food city for a period of 10 minutes to get a sandwich and then get back across the street to catch the bus that would bring me back to school. there were cars and really tall busses zooming by. i put a boy that was my lab partner in the basket along with my books and pushed him across the road, grabbed my backpack full of all the art i've ever done in my life and ran across the street. the cars on the busy street immediately turned into people, a traffic jam of humans and i couldn't get through.

i sat down at a table with my mom at this restaurant and eavesdropped for awhile. the girl in front of us says '' i need to figure things out about my life and plan important things out like this, i'm 14. i just need to know when the appropriate time for me to pierce my nose is.'' and started talking about her younger siblings and describing them to her friend as if she were being interviewed for a magazine. i got so fed up with this girl. i opened my mouth and words started coming out in her direction. saying how stupid she was and why was she sitting at our table and how i had seen her at horseback riding camp. that she couldn't even reach the stirrups because she was so small and to have fun with her nose. and to be sure to tell me all the other ways she was planning on slowly ruining her life. apparently i was being a jerk because she looked really offended and embarrassed for being such an idiot in public.

i crossed the human traffic jam and turned around was in my dorm room writing in a notebook, the kind that flips open and has wide ruled lines on yellow pages. the kind i don't like in real life. and i was writing and people kept coming in and tickling me and giving me tea. saying how proud they were that i was doing work and that i should take my cardigan off so i could receive an actual hug. but i didn't know what that meant so i just said no thanks.

February 17, 2009


in my dream. i had a zit on my face right under my lip. it was blue and i kept picking at it. and then i realized that it was blue because there was mouthwash in the actual zit. which made my face smell minty, but i picked it and then i was free of visitors on my face.

i honestly don't know why i have dreams like this,
and considering this is the first dream i've had in over a week
i am severely disappointed.

February 09, 2009


the trees had feathers
and the birds had leaves
it was very quiet
it was very beautiful

February 08, 2009


i had a dream that adam brody was my boyfriend and we were sitting in the basement with my family and the power went out. i had to pee so i went outside to go, and i heard gunshots and there were hunters fighting with my neighbor and he had a shotgun and was threatening them. adam brody came out and got my dog away from the fight and told them to all be rational and i said oh you are a good boyfriend to me. then we went inside, and i gauged my monroe piercing and it didn't even hurt, but it looked sort of weird.

February 06, 2009


i was in some run down convenience store trying to find a box of chocolates for my mom since it was valentines day. there was one left so i went to the counter to purchase them. i opened it up and there were 3 chocolates left. i got really pissed and yelled at the lady. 'fuck this place i'm going to barnes and noble-they have nice things over there'. the boy i was with kept saying, 'sun ate them, sun ate them, i know she did.' when i turned around i was with this little child who only spoke spanish and was skittish and afraid of humans. i kept him safe and hugged him until we went across the street. he was wearing a big yellow sweater.

February 05, 2009


the past two nights i have slept on the floor in a million blankets with some good friends. no dreams i can remember. but its okay. i like waking up to see the faces of people i love more than remembering a dream that makes no sense.

February 01, 2009


sitting in a sunny field with lots of broken semi trucks. drawing in a huge sketchbook. wearing shorts and no shoes. there is no snow. i had some kind of furry pet that was black, and he kept running around in the grass.