October 24, 2009

naps are weird

two very quick dreams:

i was walking into our house through the front door and an alarm went off but i didn't know how to turn it off. my heart started beating really fast and the alarm got louder. there was a voice that kept repeating something. i felt really frantic and woke up. lost was on tv and there was an alarm going off and the voice that was in my dream was actually on the tv show.

i was in my house and my brother walked in the room and his neck was all cut up. it looked like someone peeled off his skin in layers like an onion. he wasn't saying anything and everyone was yelling. a group of about 3 more people walked in and they were bloody too. i looked down at my brother and a spider came near my face from the ceiling. i swatted it away, and then there was another one. but i couldn't see it with my eyes, i just knew it was there. and no matter where i looked i couldn't see it. but i could feel it getting closer to me.

October 23, 2009

when i sleep on the futon my dreams aren't that cool

two dreams.
both of them ended with me waking up and you being gone.
but then i woke up in real life both times and you were still there.

so, that was nice.

October 22, 2009


in my dream i was at a party with all of my friends from school. talking and playing with one of those huge parachutes. my friend katie walks in the room with my friend jeremy from high school. i hugged him for so long and said jeremy jeremy how are you doing. then i turned around and jordan was there too. and i said if mark dodds walks in the door i will freak. and then i saw him. and i put my head in a pillow and just stayed there for awhile trying to understand why all my nice friends from high school were with me. he came over to me and i kissed him on the cheek and then he kissed me on the lips. and we were all just so happy to see each other.

next thing i knew i was walking on a parkway in this park over a hill. the trees were really short and the road was really curvy. luke was with me wearing really stupid sunglasses and so was eric, and us three were strutting like idiots down this street. no one said anything but we all knew that we were on the intro to the OC. not as side-orders, but we were the main characters. and we knew how stupid this was and how stupid we looked but we were just walking so dumb and laughing so hard and shaking our heads. i could hear myself giggling in real life but i just kept walking on this walkway and giggling in my dream because it was so funny. then i finally said this needs to stop, so i woke up.

October 20, 2009


in a hotel lobby standing at the ice machine. i needed ice cubes because i wanted to eat them. i didn't have a cup or anything to put them in. next to the machine there was a stack of those tiny paper cups they have when you get ketchup at wendys. so i used one of those. but the ice cubes wouldn't fit.

October 16, 2009

people everywhere

i was in what looked like a food court waiting with alex to see katie play in her orchestra concert. i was surrounded by people but didn't feel any anxiety about it. it was actually really comforting this time. i felt calm. we never found katie but there was a wind ensemble playing up on stage. it was really hard to see them because the people weren't just on the floor, they were everywhere. stacked on top of each other, walking up and down as if they were on stairs. alex turned to me and asked if i wanted to get a picture of the chaos. i looked down and was holding a camera. i think i took 8 photographs. my camera used film but when i took each picture they were kept on file behind my eyelids so when i closed my eyes i could go back and see each one.

October 14, 2009

chairlifts and chihuahuas

in my dream i was sitting on a chair lift with three of my friends from high school. josh was there and he looked so happy and exactly the same as i remember him. we were watching a group of our friends below us having a bonfire. i leaned forward and jumped off but didn't really need to jump i suppose because i sort of just walked onto the ground below me very gracefully. next thing i knew i was back on the chairlift with the same people doing the same exact thing. maybe i had deja-vu in my dream. it was weird. when i returned back to the ground i saw maddie and her hair was so long-almost to her knees. and she kept saying that she painted her room purple and we could all hang out in it if we wanted to. i sat down on the ground and just lay there for a while. i saw a girl that goes to my school, the skinny one that always runs with her lacrosse stick. she was playing with my bunny and i was pissed about it because she turned it into a baby chihauhau. and also pizza could talk now so it was extra creepy because her voice was raspy and she kept rolling down the hill in this chihauhau body. i told the girl that she could keep her. she told me she didn't want to. she said she was nervous she was going to get a virus because she kissed pizza's head and there was flea spray on it. i said why would you ever think a bunny could get fleas. and she said, pizza isn't a bunny, she is a chihauhau. i immediately left that conversation and woke up because ????? no.

October 13, 2009

sliding on cement

i was riding in a car with a bunch of my friends somewhere, there were three separate cars and somebody's parents were driving. the one i was in was a white van with no seats in it so we were sitting on the floor. my friend was talking about how green this car was and what made it so great. we had a long conversation about how the blinds in the van were like the spoons that phelps serves sometimes. the ones made out of corn that you can boil and somehow eat? or maybe not eat them, they just ... are better for the environment or something. so we pulled the blinds off and boiled them to see if it worked.
we were outside of a building made entirely out of cement because someone we were with wanted to get OCD medicine and had to get tested here. we were walking around inside waiting for him to come out, and i slipped on the floor and started sliding around on my back because the floors weren't level. I made it all the way down the hallway without moving and when other people tried, they just fell over and didn't move around at all. We laughed at this and then realized we were sweating a lot so we went outside. The boy we were waiting on came out and was so happy because he got the medicine. I was holding Pizza the bunny except somehow she grew and was probably 10 pounds because it was almost too much weight for me to hold her like i normally do. So i put her over my shoulder like a baby and carried her that way. The hill we walked down to the car was so steep we had to take really tiny steps or else we would topple over. I was back in the car, there was a lot of traffic and I got really nervous that we were going to get in an accident.

my alarm went off, i went back to sleep. i did not go to class.

i was in my house and my alarm went off so i got up and was jumping around the room. i ran over to my computer and put the song 'down' by jay sean (??????) on really loud. i had a paintbrush in both of my hands and no shirt on. there were people at our house and i told them not to bother me because i was working on my still life for painting class. i kept saying i needed to have something to show my teacher since i hadn't gone to class in a week. i first did a still life of pieces of cloth pinned to the walls in my house. then i decided that was a stupid idea, and decided to use people as the objects in my still life. i used their heads. two were up close to me and one was in the distance, and it looked really good. i was proud of myself for mixing colors that looked so much like skin tones. and all with a pallet knife! i was impressed with myself.

then i woke up and couldn't figure out if the second part of that dream was actually real or not. it was so realistic that i didn't know if it was a memory. after about an hour of debating in my head, i've come to the conclusion that these things did not actually happen in real life.

October 08, 2009

it is raining

some kind of ball room dancing outside.
someone shorter than me was my partner and it was a girl
and she kept putting her cheek on mine and saying
we will be partners forever.
and i hated that.
i also remember being at my middle school and going down the hallways
which is something that used to happen in my dreams a lot, being in middle school.

i'm actually really upset i don't remember this dream because i knew it when my alarm went off but when i jumped out of bed it jumped out of my brain.

October 06, 2009

i now have a pet bunny named pizza

i was sitting in a parking lot trying to get something out of my car, but i was going through the sunroof so i was very high. there were some kids i've never seen sitting in a car next to me and they had their door open. i could tell they were going to smoke but they were being so shady because they didn't want me to to know. i jumped down and slid through their open window. i said, 'i know what you guys are doing and i don't mind so why don't you go ahead and stop wasting time.' and they said 'OH YOU DON'T MIND, OKAY'. i got out of the car and it started raining. this girl i've met one time previous in real life came up to me and asked if i wanted to go to the gas station with her. i said sure and we left. when i came back jacob townley was really angry with me for trusting someone i barely knew. i said jacob, its fine there is nothing wrong with making new friends, and he said as a christian i wasn't supposed to trust anyone. i said thats silly jacob, and then turned around and was in my house. amanda asked me if she could drink some of my soy milk and i said 'of course, don't even worry about it at all. it tastes exactly like candy.'

October 02, 2009


i was at an estate sale and found a book that i really liked. the top two inches had been sawed off and the binding was torn but it was really pretty. the cover was yellow and light blue. i was looking through the pictures and it was a story about a family, the history of where they came from and information about each person up to about 1994. i started looking at the pictures and realized it was a story about my family. we were the ones in the pictures. i was freaking out about this, ran over to my parents and kept saying !!! this is about us !!! they were not as impressed about this as i was. i kept repeating "and all this time we thought we were such mysteries"