December 31, 2009

blend of annoyance

i was at a school play and had become friends with this man who seemed sort of troubled. in the past couple days he told me he was going to take me somewhere after the play was over. i didn't think anything of it. the night of the play during intermission he told me he was going to kidnap me and kill me. i went down to the basement of the school and took all my art with me. i rearranged the supply closet and thought about what i should do. i knew he would find me. i called my mom and she met me in the closet. i told her about what was going to happen and she said she would help me. when the man came in the closet he was surprised to see my mom and she told him something. i don't remember what she said but he was really angry and tried to grab at me but then everything was fine and i was outside. she said i had to get away from him.

i went to kallies house. her house looked different there was an entrance for her mom and tom and then on the side there was a really heavy door that had bumper stickers and posters on it and that is where i went in to see kallie. it was snowing outside so it was pretty cold. kallies mom made me lemonade and we drank it out of pitchers. they told me everything was going to be okay.

next i was at school and it was fall. we were standing around outside but there were bunk beds all around me. some people were sitting on them some people were sleeping, but they were everywhere. we were passing around this cigarette and i accidentally ashed it on this carpet that was made out of bamboo. i knew it was chris cox's and i said oh gosh im so sorry! he said he didn't mind because it was really old. but then the ash made the bamboo spark like coals. it traveled around the whole carpet in a really neat pattern and we all stared at this for a long time. we tried to put it out but then it would spread like roots from a tree and the pattern got more detailed. it was really pretty. a squirrel saw me from a distance and i tried to run away from it because i thought it had rabies. i didn't realize that it was trying to be my friend because i was so scared of it. i ran up a tree and it followed me, i ran through some bunk beds, it followed me too. the more i tried to get away from it the closer it got to me. everyone was laughing. i was freaking out.

then i was in school and i was in a meeting with my teacher. she told me she couldn't let me take the class i wanted to because my grades weren't good enough. that made me kind of disappointed, because didn't she see any potential in me? i lost my phone and spent the rest of my dream looking for it. we went to a baseball game and i looked for it there. we went to a party and i spent the whole time looking for it. we went to different peoples houses and i looked for it there. i looked in every pocket of every pair of pants i owned.

these past couple days my dreams have been long and strange.
i think it is because we are in florida and the bed i am sleeping in is very uncomfortable.

December 30, 2009

forgot it???

NO. WHAT WAS IT ABOUT. IT HAD TO DO WITH GEORGE CLOONEY AND ERIC MADE A SONG UP ABOUT A MONKEY. i woke up 3 separate times last night and i said 'there is no way i will forget this dream'.


December 29, 2009

the distant future

it was the future, the near distant future in my dream. i will still in college and the same age as i am now, but the year was probably 2030 or something like that. i had just came back from space where i was studying abroad and i returned home to planet earth. i went into this house that i lived in and there was a room that was covered in pictures. i remembered then that i had given birth to a daughter right before i left 2 years before and i had never really spent time with her since her birth. i felt sad about that. i remembered how painful giving birth was and how much i hated being pregnant. i could feel that pain in my dream like a memory.

i also remembered that i left her with her father and these photos on the wall were his memories with her. but they weren't just pictures of her as a child, they were pictures of everyone in our lives as children. a chronological merge of lives starting on one wall and traveling up the walls around the whole room. i felt sad looking at this because i didn't know any of these memories.

i wanted to call my mom and tell her what i was sad about and that i had returned to earth. then i remembered that i never told anyone from my family that i was pregnant when it happened. i thought they would be sad at me because i wasn't married. or maybe they wouldn't be mad at me, i just figured they would take the news badly. i felt sad that i hadn't been a part of my daughters life and that she wouldn't know who i was and would never like me. so i went back to the ship.

richard alpert was there, but something seemed different about him. my team was getting back on the ship and because i felt so sad, i decided to go with them. our ship was stuck to a large magnet which kept it grounded on earth. richard had broken the nobs that we needed to press to release the magnet. his eyes were huge and scary. he was running all over the place. i thought he probably has rabies. i asked him. do you have rabies or something? he said a lot of mumbles in my direction. i realized he was probably the bad guy in my dream. i didn't trust him from then on.

i climbed this really tall ladder to the top of the ship where you enter. everyone from my team was in the tube hallway waiting to get in. richard said he was going to throw up two explosives that would go off inside our ship, but not cause any damage. he said when the explosives went off it would give us the right amount of movement to release us from the large magnet. they trusted him. i did not. the explosives came up the ladder and tunnel flying by our heads like he said. and they were okay. but then richard came up the ladder too and he had a tranquilizer that he was trying to stab everyone with so we wouldn't get on the ship. he had a mustache. i took the needle out of his hand and stabbed him in the back with it. my suit made me look really cool. i felt bad for stabbing him but then i changed my mind because i realized he probably would have killed us. i felt bad about leaving earth because its a beautiful planet but then i changed my mind because i knew i had to. i felt bad about not staying with my daughter and her father. but i did not change my mind about this feeling. i kept feeling bad about this. even after i got on the ship. i woke up.

December 28, 2009

unread letters

i was on a boat. and my dorm room was in a room. someone was throwing a party on this boat and i had a handle of vodka that was trying to hide from my teachers because i thought i would get in trouble. on my own boat, at my own party. i packed up everything i owned and put it in those clear plastic tubs. there were four of them in all and i stacked and unstacked them and re stacked them a bunch of times. i said everything is fine, i packed everything i own in these four tubs. but then i noticed i had forgotten about my desk and everything inside of it. i threw my head back and let out this sigh that was probably 15 seconds long. and it felt really good. but then i had to figure out what to do with all my stuff. then my desk disappeared. so i didn't have to worry about it. and i took the plastic tubs and carried them to the bed of my friends pick up truck because he was going to take them somewhere for me.
i went back to the party and up these steps and then back down some steps and then looked up and there were more steps. i decided i wanted to go to sleep. but then i was on a porch and there was a letter there taped to the wall. and it was for me. and i kept wanting to go over to the wall and read the letter but people were talking to me and i was getting distracted. i think i made it a point in my dream to walk over to that letter three separate times, but for some reason i never got to touch it and take it off the wall. and that was really frustrating because when i woke up i really wished that i had a letter to read. that would have been a nice way to wake up.

December 24, 2009


i was in a musical based on matthew mcconaughey's life. i was one of his classmates from middle school. we were sitting at our desks wearing collared shirts and we were all singing this song "math-hew mccon-a-hay is so fonn-a-hay". nothing else really happened, it was really sunny on stage. i woke up with this song stuck in my head all morning.

December 21, 2009

more dreams more reality

taking my dreams and morphing them into a more tangible reality

click to enlarge.
then probably you will want to zoom out
because it makes them really, really large.

space boy dream - belle and sebastian

from the album Boy with the Arab Strap. i like this dream.

i dreamt i had to go to mars. i'm always kidding on about going to mars for the day, but faced with the reality of it, in a dream, i was terrified. and it wasn't going to be like a moon trip. there was three of us going, but we couldn't all go on the same ship; we had to go one at a time with a day between us. i had to go first, and it was the thought of passing through all that black space, all the darkness with nothing in it, and then being the first one to land there, all alone. i knew it was supposed to be all dark around with just a red surface, but what if i got there and it was light, all civilized and populated and stuff? so i made a plan. the other two astronauts were going to be my dad and my sister, and my dad would come first after me, so i decided when i landed i would just stay in my seat until he got there, and then we could get out together and have a look around and see what sorts of things were there. and when i woke up and i was lying in the darkness, i thought i had landed. and i just lay still for awhile, waiting for my dad to get there too.

lava explosions

i was on some sort of a scavenger hunt with two other people, one of them i think was my brother. we were staying in a hotel and i walked down the street to go to a museum. i asked the lady at the desk how i could transfer my mail to the front desk of this museum while i was staying doing the scavenger hunt. she said it was very easy and hey look at that i already had mail to pick up. it was a letter from alex and the stamp was a picture of a lion that said 'you are my lion'. i was so excited to read this letter and it looked like a pretty good one but i had to get going. i held onto it throughout the whole dream and was waiting to open it. i left the museum which was full of so many plastic orbs and i wondered what the museum actually was a museum for.

then i was in a field with my scavenger hunt team and there was a big sand pit inside of a tennis court. there were large rocks that we lifted up together and there were 12 red squishy balls full of liquid that were underneath each boulder. they looked kind of like gushers, the same size and feel when you touched them. our job was to light them on fire and then our clue would come after we did that. we lit the balls and realized that soon they would explode the boulders and cause the lava underneath the sand to erupt out at us. i kept saying we needed to run away, far away from the sand pit but my teammates were talking to each other and were distracted. i got up and started moving away and saw that a team behind us had lit their boulder already and it was about to explode. we were in danger. it erupted and lava started flowing about 10 seconds after the explosion. then because of that explosion, our boulder exploded too and lava started coming out right at us. i was screaming at my teammates and they finally started getting up but they were too late. the lava started getting on their feet and burning their flesh. i didn't know what to do. i was running as fast as i could to get away from the lava and was barely reaching safety but i wanted to go back and help them. they eventually got to safety with charred feet. we were very scared. i still had the letter in my arm. i was about to open it and then i woke up.

fell back asleep. i was at college. we were in a big baseball field in a forest. there was an empty parking lot and a group of us were getting ready to go to the beach because we didn't have class that day. we fit 9 people in a van and then i called alex and said that he couldn't fit in our car because he had been sleeping. eric and ethan were in the van and they asked the driver if we could stop at the dollar store so they could pick something up for the beach. she dropped them off and they were inside for probably 15 minutes. i got impatient and went in the store. eric was throwing up in the isle and said he was sorry but he was very hungover. then he started laughing. i was confused. ethan came over with walkie-talkies that he had bought and we got really excited to use them.


i have had very few dreams this month.
i figure i might as well share something that i have been doing lately!

December 20, 2009

zit dream

in my dream i was popping a zit on my face and i could see something coming up out of my skin and it turned out to be a packing peanut. and the hole in my face from that zit closed up really fast like nothing ever happened and it was a really clean and smooth removal. and there was someone standing behind me that said "......woah" when it happened. we were both surprised and into it.

i think this is probably the fifth dream i've had like this in my life. its slightly different every time, but would you consider it a reoccurring dream?

December 10, 2009

it is hard to have dreams when you are constantly losing sleep due to school work.