December 31, 2009

blend of annoyance

i was at a school play and had become friends with this man who seemed sort of troubled. in the past couple days he told me he was going to take me somewhere after the play was over. i didn't think anything of it. the night of the play during intermission he told me he was going to kidnap me and kill me. i went down to the basement of the school and took all my art with me. i rearranged the supply closet and thought about what i should do. i knew he would find me. i called my mom and she met me in the closet. i told her about what was going to happen and she said she would help me. when the man came in the closet he was surprised to see my mom and she told him something. i don't remember what she said but he was really angry and tried to grab at me but then everything was fine and i was outside. she said i had to get away from him.

i went to kallies house. her house looked different there was an entrance for her mom and tom and then on the side there was a really heavy door that had bumper stickers and posters on it and that is where i went in to see kallie. it was snowing outside so it was pretty cold. kallies mom made me lemonade and we drank it out of pitchers. they told me everything was going to be okay.

next i was at school and it was fall. we were standing around outside but there were bunk beds all around me. some people were sitting on them some people were sleeping, but they were everywhere. we were passing around this cigarette and i accidentally ashed it on this carpet that was made out of bamboo. i knew it was chris cox's and i said oh gosh im so sorry! he said he didn't mind because it was really old. but then the ash made the bamboo spark like coals. it traveled around the whole carpet in a really neat pattern and we all stared at this for a long time. we tried to put it out but then it would spread like roots from a tree and the pattern got more detailed. it was really pretty. a squirrel saw me from a distance and i tried to run away from it because i thought it had rabies. i didn't realize that it was trying to be my friend because i was so scared of it. i ran up a tree and it followed me, i ran through some bunk beds, it followed me too. the more i tried to get away from it the closer it got to me. everyone was laughing. i was freaking out.

then i was in school and i was in a meeting with my teacher. she told me she couldn't let me take the class i wanted to because my grades weren't good enough. that made me kind of disappointed, because didn't she see any potential in me? i lost my phone and spent the rest of my dream looking for it. we went to a baseball game and i looked for it there. we went to a party and i spent the whole time looking for it. we went to different peoples houses and i looked for it there. i looked in every pocket of every pair of pants i owned.

these past couple days my dreams have been long and strange.
i think it is because we are in florida and the bed i am sleeping in is very uncomfortable.

December 30, 2009

forgot it???

NO. WHAT WAS IT ABOUT. IT HAD TO DO WITH GEORGE CLOONEY AND ERIC MADE A SONG UP ABOUT A MONKEY. i woke up 3 separate times last night and i said 'there is no way i will forget this dream'.


December 29, 2009

the distant future

it was the future, the near distant future in my dream. i will still in college and the same age as i am now, but the year was probably 2030 or something like that. i had just came back from space where i was studying abroad and i returned home to planet earth. i went into this house that i lived in and there was a room that was covered in pictures. i remembered then that i had given birth to a daughter right before i left 2 years before and i had never really spent time with her since her birth. i felt sad about that. i remembered how painful giving birth was and how much i hated being pregnant. i could feel that pain in my dream like a memory.

i also remembered that i left her with her father and these photos on the wall were his memories with her. but they weren't just pictures of her as a child, they were pictures of everyone in our lives as children. a chronological merge of lives starting on one wall and traveling up the walls around the whole room. i felt sad looking at this because i didn't know any of these memories.

i wanted to call my mom and tell her what i was sad about and that i had returned to earth. then i remembered that i never told anyone from my family that i was pregnant when it happened. i thought they would be sad at me because i wasn't married. or maybe they wouldn't be mad at me, i just figured they would take the news badly. i felt sad that i hadn't been a part of my daughters life and that she wouldn't know who i was and would never like me. so i went back to the ship.

richard alpert was there, but something seemed different about him. my team was getting back on the ship and because i felt so sad, i decided to go with them. our ship was stuck to a large magnet which kept it grounded on earth. richard had broken the nobs that we needed to press to release the magnet. his eyes were huge and scary. he was running all over the place. i thought he probably has rabies. i asked him. do you have rabies or something? he said a lot of mumbles in my direction. i realized he was probably the bad guy in my dream. i didn't trust him from then on.

i climbed this really tall ladder to the top of the ship where you enter. everyone from my team was in the tube hallway waiting to get in. richard said he was going to throw up two explosives that would go off inside our ship, but not cause any damage. he said when the explosives went off it would give us the right amount of movement to release us from the large magnet. they trusted him. i did not. the explosives came up the ladder and tunnel flying by our heads like he said. and they were okay. but then richard came up the ladder too and he had a tranquilizer that he was trying to stab everyone with so we wouldn't get on the ship. he had a mustache. i took the needle out of his hand and stabbed him in the back with it. my suit made me look really cool. i felt bad for stabbing him but then i changed my mind because i realized he probably would have killed us. i felt bad about leaving earth because its a beautiful planet but then i changed my mind because i knew i had to. i felt bad about not staying with my daughter and her father. but i did not change my mind about this feeling. i kept feeling bad about this. even after i got on the ship. i woke up.

December 28, 2009

unread letters

i was on a boat. and my dorm room was in a room. someone was throwing a party on this boat and i had a handle of vodka that was trying to hide from my teachers because i thought i would get in trouble. on my own boat, at my own party. i packed up everything i owned and put it in those clear plastic tubs. there were four of them in all and i stacked and unstacked them and re stacked them a bunch of times. i said everything is fine, i packed everything i own in these four tubs. but then i noticed i had forgotten about my desk and everything inside of it. i threw my head back and let out this sigh that was probably 15 seconds long. and it felt really good. but then i had to figure out what to do with all my stuff. then my desk disappeared. so i didn't have to worry about it. and i took the plastic tubs and carried them to the bed of my friends pick up truck because he was going to take them somewhere for me.
i went back to the party and up these steps and then back down some steps and then looked up and there were more steps. i decided i wanted to go to sleep. but then i was on a porch and there was a letter there taped to the wall. and it was for me. and i kept wanting to go over to the wall and read the letter but people were talking to me and i was getting distracted. i think i made it a point in my dream to walk over to that letter three separate times, but for some reason i never got to touch it and take it off the wall. and that was really frustrating because when i woke up i really wished that i had a letter to read. that would have been a nice way to wake up.

December 24, 2009


i was in a musical based on matthew mcconaughey's life. i was one of his classmates from middle school. we were sitting at our desks wearing collared shirts and we were all singing this song "math-hew mccon-a-hay is so fonn-a-hay". nothing else really happened, it was really sunny on stage. i woke up with this song stuck in my head all morning.

December 21, 2009

more dreams more reality

taking my dreams and morphing them into a more tangible reality

click to enlarge.
then probably you will want to zoom out
because it makes them really, really large.

space boy dream - belle and sebastian

from the album Boy with the Arab Strap. i like this dream.

i dreamt i had to go to mars. i'm always kidding on about going to mars for the day, but faced with the reality of it, in a dream, i was terrified. and it wasn't going to be like a moon trip. there was three of us going, but we couldn't all go on the same ship; we had to go one at a time with a day between us. i had to go first, and it was the thought of passing through all that black space, all the darkness with nothing in it, and then being the first one to land there, all alone. i knew it was supposed to be all dark around with just a red surface, but what if i got there and it was light, all civilized and populated and stuff? so i made a plan. the other two astronauts were going to be my dad and my sister, and my dad would come first after me, so i decided when i landed i would just stay in my seat until he got there, and then we could get out together and have a look around and see what sorts of things were there. and when i woke up and i was lying in the darkness, i thought i had landed. and i just lay still for awhile, waiting for my dad to get there too.

lava explosions

i was on some sort of a scavenger hunt with two other people, one of them i think was my brother. we were staying in a hotel and i walked down the street to go to a museum. i asked the lady at the desk how i could transfer my mail to the front desk of this museum while i was staying doing the scavenger hunt. she said it was very easy and hey look at that i already had mail to pick up. it was a letter from alex and the stamp was a picture of a lion that said 'you are my lion'. i was so excited to read this letter and it looked like a pretty good one but i had to get going. i held onto it throughout the whole dream and was waiting to open it. i left the museum which was full of so many plastic orbs and i wondered what the museum actually was a museum for.

then i was in a field with my scavenger hunt team and there was a big sand pit inside of a tennis court. there were large rocks that we lifted up together and there were 12 red squishy balls full of liquid that were underneath each boulder. they looked kind of like gushers, the same size and feel when you touched them. our job was to light them on fire and then our clue would come after we did that. we lit the balls and realized that soon they would explode the boulders and cause the lava underneath the sand to erupt out at us. i kept saying we needed to run away, far away from the sand pit but my teammates were talking to each other and were distracted. i got up and started moving away and saw that a team behind us had lit their boulder already and it was about to explode. we were in danger. it erupted and lava started flowing about 10 seconds after the explosion. then because of that explosion, our boulder exploded too and lava started coming out right at us. i was screaming at my teammates and they finally started getting up but they were too late. the lava started getting on their feet and burning their flesh. i didn't know what to do. i was running as fast as i could to get away from the lava and was barely reaching safety but i wanted to go back and help them. they eventually got to safety with charred feet. we were very scared. i still had the letter in my arm. i was about to open it and then i woke up.

fell back asleep. i was at college. we were in a big baseball field in a forest. there was an empty parking lot and a group of us were getting ready to go to the beach because we didn't have class that day. we fit 9 people in a van and then i called alex and said that he couldn't fit in our car because he had been sleeping. eric and ethan were in the van and they asked the driver if we could stop at the dollar store so they could pick something up for the beach. she dropped them off and they were inside for probably 15 minutes. i got impatient and went in the store. eric was throwing up in the isle and said he was sorry but he was very hungover. then he started laughing. i was confused. ethan came over with walkie-talkies that he had bought and we got really excited to use them.


i have had very few dreams this month.
i figure i might as well share something that i have been doing lately!

December 20, 2009

zit dream

in my dream i was popping a zit on my face and i could see something coming up out of my skin and it turned out to be a packing peanut. and the hole in my face from that zit closed up really fast like nothing ever happened and it was a really clean and smooth removal. and there was someone standing behind me that said "......woah" when it happened. we were both surprised and into it.

i think this is probably the fifth dream i've had like this in my life. its slightly different every time, but would you consider it a reoccurring dream?

December 10, 2009

it is hard to have dreams when you are constantly losing sleep due to school work.

November 27, 2009

katie told me

in my dream we were taking shots of lost characters.
"here, have a shot of kate, have a shot of john locke, have a shot of saywer."
i do not remember this dream.
and i also don't remember waking katie up and telling her this either.
but it needs to be remembered.

foam mouth

i don't really remember much of what happened in this one but i do remember being locked in a red bathroom in a very large hotel and i needed to get away from a bad guy. they put these crest foam things in my mouth to keep me from leaving the room. the longer i kept them in my mouth the more foam came out of it, and i couldnt figure out how to stop my mouth from foaming. i think i had about 5 in my mouth at one time standing over the sink with bubbles coming out of my mouth. then i finally thought to take them out of my mouth so i only had one in and the foam was manageable. then i ran out in the hallway while the bad guys were distracted from someone or something else.
i was then outside and it was 6 in the morning. i was in holland michigan and my dad picked me up in a car and said that we needed to bring something home really fast, and i said dad i can't! that will take longer than all day and i need to be somewhere at lunch time. but he said, just please, come on. so i went with him. and we drove all the way to my house and picked something up from my mom. i went in the kitchen and said hey and then turned around and got back in the car. next thing i knew we were back in holland and it was only 10:40 in the morning. i still dont know how a 18 hour car ride only took 4.5 hours but it did.
i went back inside the hotel and down these stairs to the basement where i was supposed to meet someone. i found this old movie theater in the basement and there was a family of four sitting staring at the screen. i went up to ask if i was supposed to meet them, but i think they were dead because their skin was grey and they were just staring at nothing. i got weirded out so i ran out of that room really fast.

project phelps

i had a dream that we were watching project runway and it was the season finale so it had already been taped. kelsey was sitting with us watching it and it was cool because she was a contestant on the show. and she told us that she won three challenges in a row and the award for each challenge was 1,000 dollars to phelps dining. then she won the whole thing, she got first place and we were all cheering so loud for her and super excited. she won 4,000 dollars to phelps dining hall and she treated everyone to a big feast.

November 23, 2009


i just had a dream that you covered your eyelids in icing and glued them shut.
you glued them shut with icing. your eyeballs.


i was at craft store with a bunch of my friends and we were looking at halloween costumes. david caplan was there in a costume based on a wild thing, from where the wild things are. but everyone kept saying that it was the american apparel version of that costume. so he was wearing green sweatpants with cuffs on the ends and a brown crew neck sweatshirt with a furry mask that he pulled over his head. there was a cut out for his face and he looked so cute and little in it. i kept asking people why they needed halloween costumes already but no one really knew the answer to that question.

next i was in my neighborhood and i was walking down the street. there was a man that started following me and i didn't like that so i headed towards the bushes but he followed me there. i ran into my house and locked the door because i felt like he was going to try and get in. a few of my friends knocked on the door so we could walk to school together but i had to warn them about the creepy guy. so i let them in and told them to remain calm. then a few more of my friends knocked on the door to let them in. i was getting frustrated because the man could be coming any second and these friends of mine were blowing my cover! i told them that it wasn't safe to go outside so we decided that we had to skip school for a couple of days and lay low. i went upstairs to ask my dad if that was okay. he was shaving his beard in the bathroom and i saw brian voortman in my dads room. i said, brian. what the heck are you doing in my house. you were here three days ago, have you not left yet? and he told me that he had been subleasing my dads room out the last week and how did i not know that by now. but this was the first time i had seen him. and i was very confused. he gave me a ratty old t-shirt that had all the charlie brown characters dressed like frankenstein and i then i was even more confused.

amanda came down to where we all were sitting and told us that we needed to have a house meeting. in the meeting she told us that our chore for the day was going to the boys house and doing all their chores because they are our good friends and since they never do their chores, we should help them out and be good samaritans. noosha was there. she and i were not into this idea. at all. but amanda told us to get our crummy clothes on so we did. but we just stood in the backyard. then andrew clark yelled at us from our neighbors run down house and he said he was now living in the attic there and had a really neat couch and broken wall boards that you could swing back to peek into the other rooms of the house, and even in the backyard. that was neat.

then i was in an auditorium sitting next to maria krebs and we were at a performance of some kind. marcus regan walked past us in the isle. he was wearing a yellow halloween costume, i think it might have been a banana. something cute. i looked at maria and said, isn't marcus the cutest thing in the world. and she said, no. actually i've never thought that before. i said really? you don't think so? and she said yeah. i never have. we both shrugged and that was that.

November 13, 2009

all over the place

in my dream there was a lot of snow and pizza was so house trained that she would come up to me when she had to go to the bathroom and let me know by licking my hand and then we would let her outside. i watched her jump down the steps in the snow and she looked so cute.

then i was at hope college high school and my mom told me i needed to go take a standardized test at calvin high school, which i had never been to. i told her i didn't want to go because i was hanging out with alex and that we needed to do other more important things. she said this would really make a difference in my education so would i please do it, thanks. she gave me a map that she drew herself and i tried to use it to get there, but i couldn't find my car. it took me 10 minutes to find my car which was the amount of time i had to get over there, so i missed the test and couldn't go. i felt bad.

then will and bria picked me up in this huge HUGE monster truck and we were driving in manlius at night. we were all drunk and throwing pumpkins at people that we drove by. i kept saying 'slow down!' but then also saying 'go faster!' almost in the same sentence. i think we might have been in costumes.

then it was spring and we were in line for some concert kind of thing, but we were all in cars. i rode with paul rice who kept being impatient in line and cutting everyone but then once we got to the front he would let everyone in front of him and we would be in the back of the line. and there were other people in my car that i could see and they were listening to my cds and not putting them back in the cases when they were done and i was getting really anxious about that. a bunch of us got in the back of someones van. all the seats were out so we had a lot of room. it was really awkward because no one was talking and then three of the girls started talking about really personal stuff and kelsey came over and sat down and said abby i don't know if you know this but i support your new endeavor one hundred percent. and she had a picket sign in her hands but it was blank.

then i was in my old high school art room with kallie and mickey and mr. ned and we were talking about mr. bergman, an old substitute teacher we had in high school. we were saying how young he was when we were seniors and all agreed he had to have been only 22 when he was subbing because he was so cute and young. then mickey started doing impressions of mr. ned for us and lifted him up and gave him a bear hug. then i took a big gulp of water from this large jar and decided to stop because i remembered there were fish in them. then mr. ned and i looked through this fish tank and watched hundreds of little fish swimming around with each other, forming patterns with their bodies. and it was so beautiful.

November 12, 2009


we were in a big city. there was no sun and no lights but the sky was bright all over and we couldn't tell where the light was coming from. everything was very much like earth except people didn't feel pain or sadness. someone said something mean to me but i didn't feel sad, i didn't feel anything. i heard someone talking about what new york city was like in heaven and that it was really crowded, more than we were used to on earth. there were people all over, all kinds of people. most of them were shopping and a lot of people were drinking and some people were planting in their gardens. i was looking at an arial view of the city and it was like i was flying down the street.
i met up with a team of students in a restaurant. i had two beers with me but i felt bad because none of them drank so i hid one under my seat and took one in the bathroom with me and drank it there. the other beer got warm under the table. everyone left and i walked down the street and met up with this big animal. i was on a hovering seat thing, kind of like a flying saucer from the future. we flew between the street signs and building ads for awhile.
i wanted to go to the wood part of heaven but i couldn't get out of the city part that i was in. people all around me kept testing heaven. since there was no pain they were all jumping off things and making sure it was real. it felt too good to be true, but also at the same time it was not good enough to be heaven in my opinion. i felt skeptical the whole dream and also i felt bad about being so skeptical.
it started raining. i was in a big group of people and there was music on and people were dancing. mickey showed up and i looked over at abby. we were with a large group of our friends and we were all wearing red. my dress was really short and i kept pulling it down to fix it. as soon as we got to the floor everyone moved out of the way for us and we started doing a choreographed dance to whatever song was on. just as soon as we were getting into it my alarm went off.

November 06, 2009

does cherry coke have red 40

i was in my hometown neighborhood with a bunch of my friends from college. we all lived in the same house and were hanging out in the living room together. my brother wanted food so kelsey alex joe and i got in a car and started driving to taco bell. kelsey was driving and alex was in the passengers seat. joe and i were in the back seats. while we were driving away we saw marlee walking across the street. she was really upset because we hadn't hung out with her since she had gotten back from spain. we noticed there were a lot of people in our neighborhood all over the place. overturned cars on the streets and people running around. the telephone wires were really low, almost hitting the top of the car that we were riding in. i looked over and saw the house on the corner of the street was on fire. all the people that were outside looked like they were throwing water on the house with their hands, but they had no water. so they were just waving their hands in front of the fire trying to put it out. we got really nervous because the fire was spreading around and soon we would be blocked in my neighborhood. kelsey saw an opening in the road where we could drive out, but then a semi truck turned over in front of us and we had to jump out of the car and run underneath the truck. all of the sudden alex yelled FUCK and we all knew that something really bad was going to happen. alex said he spilled his beer on the fire and soon everything would explode. we didn't know whether or not to run and die or stay put and stay together and then die. i guess we didn't think about it very long because the next thing i knew i was lying on the ground looking at the pavement. then the car that had exploded turned into cigarettes and they were raining down onto the street in front of my face. and i knew i was dead.

so freaky.

November 03, 2009

two of them

i was holding a bunch of rocks in my hands and someone stole my earrings. abby came over to me and said here let me give you a pair of mine. we walked through this house that was a dorm that had little nooks in the hallways and people had their dorm rooms in the hallways. i couldn't understand why all their stuff was perfectly safe but my earrings were stolen out of my ears. abby gave me her earrings and i tried to get them in but it wouldn't go and i woke up.

then i had a dream that i was in a sky scraper with alex and we were on the 12th floor. he was standing up by the window and there was this narrator pretending he was alex. and he said 'the top things i'm thinking but never say outloud''. i only caught the last 3 but they were "WOW i love this sweater.", "i am having so much fun", and "i actually do think jack mclaughlin is funny". and we didn't know where the voice was coming from but it was funny and we laughed. and then alex said outloud, "i actually do love this sweater" and there was a huge window that was taking up the whole wall and "i thought this is so nice, but it would be nicer if we were two floors up so we had a better view of the building next to us."

November 02, 2009

its quiet up there

October 24, 2009

naps are weird

two very quick dreams:

i was walking into our house through the front door and an alarm went off but i didn't know how to turn it off. my heart started beating really fast and the alarm got louder. there was a voice that kept repeating something. i felt really frantic and woke up. lost was on tv and there was an alarm going off and the voice that was in my dream was actually on the tv show.

i was in my house and my brother walked in the room and his neck was all cut up. it looked like someone peeled off his skin in layers like an onion. he wasn't saying anything and everyone was yelling. a group of about 3 more people walked in and they were bloody too. i looked down at my brother and a spider came near my face from the ceiling. i swatted it away, and then there was another one. but i couldn't see it with my eyes, i just knew it was there. and no matter where i looked i couldn't see it. but i could feel it getting closer to me.

October 23, 2009

when i sleep on the futon my dreams aren't that cool

two dreams.
both of them ended with me waking up and you being gone.
but then i woke up in real life both times and you were still there.

so, that was nice.

October 22, 2009


in my dream i was at a party with all of my friends from school. talking and playing with one of those huge parachutes. my friend katie walks in the room with my friend jeremy from high school. i hugged him for so long and said jeremy jeremy how are you doing. then i turned around and jordan was there too. and i said if mark dodds walks in the door i will freak. and then i saw him. and i put my head in a pillow and just stayed there for awhile trying to understand why all my nice friends from high school were with me. he came over to me and i kissed him on the cheek and then he kissed me on the lips. and we were all just so happy to see each other.

next thing i knew i was walking on a parkway in this park over a hill. the trees were really short and the road was really curvy. luke was with me wearing really stupid sunglasses and so was eric, and us three were strutting like idiots down this street. no one said anything but we all knew that we were on the intro to the OC. not as side-orders, but we were the main characters. and we knew how stupid this was and how stupid we looked but we were just walking so dumb and laughing so hard and shaking our heads. i could hear myself giggling in real life but i just kept walking on this walkway and giggling in my dream because it was so funny. then i finally said this needs to stop, so i woke up.

October 20, 2009


in a hotel lobby standing at the ice machine. i needed ice cubes because i wanted to eat them. i didn't have a cup or anything to put them in. next to the machine there was a stack of those tiny paper cups they have when you get ketchup at wendys. so i used one of those. but the ice cubes wouldn't fit.

October 16, 2009

people everywhere

i was in what looked like a food court waiting with alex to see katie play in her orchestra concert. i was surrounded by people but didn't feel any anxiety about it. it was actually really comforting this time. i felt calm. we never found katie but there was a wind ensemble playing up on stage. it was really hard to see them because the people weren't just on the floor, they were everywhere. stacked on top of each other, walking up and down as if they were on stairs. alex turned to me and asked if i wanted to get a picture of the chaos. i looked down and was holding a camera. i think i took 8 photographs. my camera used film but when i took each picture they were kept on file behind my eyelids so when i closed my eyes i could go back and see each one.

October 14, 2009

chairlifts and chihuahuas

in my dream i was sitting on a chair lift with three of my friends from high school. josh was there and he looked so happy and exactly the same as i remember him. we were watching a group of our friends below us having a bonfire. i leaned forward and jumped off but didn't really need to jump i suppose because i sort of just walked onto the ground below me very gracefully. next thing i knew i was back on the chairlift with the same people doing the same exact thing. maybe i had deja-vu in my dream. it was weird. when i returned back to the ground i saw maddie and her hair was so long-almost to her knees. and she kept saying that she painted her room purple and we could all hang out in it if we wanted to. i sat down on the ground and just lay there for a while. i saw a girl that goes to my school, the skinny one that always runs with her lacrosse stick. she was playing with my bunny and i was pissed about it because she turned it into a baby chihauhau. and also pizza could talk now so it was extra creepy because her voice was raspy and she kept rolling down the hill in this chihauhau body. i told the girl that she could keep her. she told me she didn't want to. she said she was nervous she was going to get a virus because she kissed pizza's head and there was flea spray on it. i said why would you ever think a bunny could get fleas. and she said, pizza isn't a bunny, she is a chihauhau. i immediately left that conversation and woke up because ????? no.

October 13, 2009

sliding on cement

i was riding in a car with a bunch of my friends somewhere, there were three separate cars and somebody's parents were driving. the one i was in was a white van with no seats in it so we were sitting on the floor. my friend was talking about how green this car was and what made it so great. we had a long conversation about how the blinds in the van were like the spoons that phelps serves sometimes. the ones made out of corn that you can boil and somehow eat? or maybe not eat them, they just ... are better for the environment or something. so we pulled the blinds off and boiled them to see if it worked.
we were outside of a building made entirely out of cement because someone we were with wanted to get OCD medicine and had to get tested here. we were walking around inside waiting for him to come out, and i slipped on the floor and started sliding around on my back because the floors weren't level. I made it all the way down the hallway without moving and when other people tried, they just fell over and didn't move around at all. We laughed at this and then realized we were sweating a lot so we went outside. The boy we were waiting on came out and was so happy because he got the medicine. I was holding Pizza the bunny except somehow she grew and was probably 10 pounds because it was almost too much weight for me to hold her like i normally do. So i put her over my shoulder like a baby and carried her that way. The hill we walked down to the car was so steep we had to take really tiny steps or else we would topple over. I was back in the car, there was a lot of traffic and I got really nervous that we were going to get in an accident.

my alarm went off, i went back to sleep. i did not go to class.

i was in my house and my alarm went off so i got up and was jumping around the room. i ran over to my computer and put the song 'down' by jay sean (??????) on really loud. i had a paintbrush in both of my hands and no shirt on. there were people at our house and i told them not to bother me because i was working on my still life for painting class. i kept saying i needed to have something to show my teacher since i hadn't gone to class in a week. i first did a still life of pieces of cloth pinned to the walls in my house. then i decided that was a stupid idea, and decided to use people as the objects in my still life. i used their heads. two were up close to me and one was in the distance, and it looked really good. i was proud of myself for mixing colors that looked so much like skin tones. and all with a pallet knife! i was impressed with myself.

then i woke up and couldn't figure out if the second part of that dream was actually real or not. it was so realistic that i didn't know if it was a memory. after about an hour of debating in my head, i've come to the conclusion that these things did not actually happen in real life.

October 08, 2009

it is raining

some kind of ball room dancing outside.
someone shorter than me was my partner and it was a girl
and she kept putting her cheek on mine and saying
we will be partners forever.
and i hated that.
i also remember being at my middle school and going down the hallways
which is something that used to happen in my dreams a lot, being in middle school.

i'm actually really upset i don't remember this dream because i knew it when my alarm went off but when i jumped out of bed it jumped out of my brain.

October 06, 2009

i now have a pet bunny named pizza

i was sitting in a parking lot trying to get something out of my car, but i was going through the sunroof so i was very high. there were some kids i've never seen sitting in a car next to me and they had their door open. i could tell they were going to smoke but they were being so shady because they didn't want me to to know. i jumped down and slid through their open window. i said, 'i know what you guys are doing and i don't mind so why don't you go ahead and stop wasting time.' and they said 'OH YOU DON'T MIND, OKAY'. i got out of the car and it started raining. this girl i've met one time previous in real life came up to me and asked if i wanted to go to the gas station with her. i said sure and we left. when i came back jacob townley was really angry with me for trusting someone i barely knew. i said jacob, its fine there is nothing wrong with making new friends, and he said as a christian i wasn't supposed to trust anyone. i said thats silly jacob, and then turned around and was in my house. amanda asked me if she could drink some of my soy milk and i said 'of course, don't even worry about it at all. it tastes exactly like candy.'

October 02, 2009


i was at an estate sale and found a book that i really liked. the top two inches had been sawed off and the binding was torn but it was really pretty. the cover was yellow and light blue. i was looking through the pictures and it was a story about a family, the history of where they came from and information about each person up to about 1994. i started looking at the pictures and realized it was a story about my family. we were the ones in the pictures. i was freaking out about this, ran over to my parents and kept saying !!! this is about us !!! they were not as impressed about this as i was. i kept repeating "and all this time we thought we were such mysteries"

September 30, 2009


i forgot to grab them when they were floating away
so i don't remember any this morning
but i did find that i took my socks off in my sleep last night
and threw them across the room

September 29, 2009

big wishes

i was sitting in a room with my two friends abby and sarah talking about how cold it was outside. there was a bunny on the bed sitting next to me. i kept picking it up and saying "look, i'm a bunny" i looked outside the window and there was snow everywhere. there was also a fox outside looking through the window at me. he was sad that he was outside in the cold and not inside under blankets with us. next i was holding hands with alex and we walked down these stairs and started making this huge bouquet volcano out of ripped up pieces of love letters everyone in the world had ever written. our hands were moving so fast making this. people kept coming up to me and saying my that is pretty. then i saw a video of myself in a coat and scarf. i remember saying out loud "in my dreams i own a yellow coat". the sound of my own voice woke me up.

September 28, 2009

the go getter

i had a dream last night
maybe you had it too
it could have passed through our feet.

September 22, 2009


i was taking all these stupid pictures of nothing with my camera and then got really upset because i remembered that it wasn't a digital camera and that i had just wasted a whole roll of film.
cool dream huh.

September 18, 2009


i was in a big kitchen at meijer, i think it was my job or something. regardless, i was there and we were making garlic cheese breadsticks to be packaged and sold. i was sitting on a stool. i didn't know anyone else there besides my friends adam and eric. only eric was a combination of two people- my friend eric and a boy i went to high school with named jeremy. i was talking with one of the other employees and i was thinking about how handsome he was. then he admitted to me that him and his wife are meth heads and if you do the percentages in small doses its not as dangerous as a drug as people give it credit for. i kept thinking wow, maybe this guy is right because his face isn't messed up at all, i mean, he's still really attractive. he said him and his wife just take a little before bed every night and its okay. then adam and eric started fighting and i tried to get them to stop but they had been fighting like this all day. i didn't know what to do and they stood up from their chairs and started pushing each other around. both of them whipped out a knife. adam stabbed eric in the leg but i didn't see that happen because there was no blood or puncture. then eric/jeremy duo sliced adam in the throat and it was so scary and there were pieces of skin on his little blade and i wanted to throw up. adam said it was okay and i held his hand and then all of the sudden his eyes got really big and he looked scared. eric/jeremy got nervous too and started whimpering, i kept yelling at everyone to call 911 but they were just standing there. i put adam on the ground and held his hand and yelled for help so loud and for so long. i think i freaked myself out in real life because i woke up really startled.

then i went back to sleep and i was in a car with marlee telling her about this dream i just had. she was sitting there listening and then she missed a right turn, but we were in the farthest left hand land so she cut a lane and tried to make the turn but we got hit by a car?

then i woke up again and i just decided not to go back to sleep because my dreams lately are really bothering me and i didn't want to have another one like that.

September 17, 2009


we were at hope college but hope college looked different than we were used to, it was a different location. i think it might have been at a hotel. i was still amandas roommate. it was really hot outside i remember and i wanted to wear a dress but i didn't have any because i sold them all at my dorm sale. so i went into our mini walk in closet thing and said ''amanda what do you have for me today'' and i found this really cute dress that was a halter top and it was light pink and terry cloth and i said oh this will be perfect because we are going to the beach today/or swimming/or something. and then i went in the bathroom and tried to go but people kept walking in on me and there wasn't a lock so i said "i'm in hereee" in one of those sing song voices but what you're basically saying is ''get the fuck ou--outtttt" so then we went into this hallway and i saw amanda and said ''is this okay?" and she said "to be honest, no its not because the last week you've worn so many of my clothes and i really wanted to wear that today and i hate that you wear my things without asking me first." and i said okay thats understandable, i'm sorry but really--i dont have anything else to wear so just this once okay. and she said ''to be honest i really hate being your roommate" and i said ""

then a bunch of us were outside, like our whole school and it turns out we had been on a weekend field trip somewhere and the busses were getting ready to leave. i realized i had to pee really bad before we left and so i went running through the hotel looking for a bathroom. i ran for about 4 minutes straight in my dream, jumping over people and turning corners, i finally found this one lobby where there were two family bathrooms. one said ''whites only'' and one said ''blacks only'' there had been a girl running with me this whole time and she went into the whites only bathroom and i said okay i hope i don't get in trouble for this. and went into the blacks only bathroom. then some lady opened the door on me and said ''girl what the FUCK are you doing in here'' and i said ''i know i'm not black, but i have to pee and i thought it would be okay because it was the only one, i'm sorry''

then we were back at hope college and we were on 14th street. and it was night time i remember because everyone was outside looking at the sky and it was purple and the stars were yellow and the moon was blue and it was really pretty. then i got a call from jacob on my cell phone and he said ''come over to my house. i really want to see you." and i said really? and he said yes i think its time we hung out. its been a really long time. and so i was all excited and i went over there and there were a bunch of dudes. i sat on that big couch with ethan and we were just sitting there watching everyone hanging out and it was really chaotic in there. i was wondering where jacob was because he invited me to hang out. i was getting kind of frustrated that i was there and he was not. then the door to erics room opens up and this girl comes out. brown hair she is probably like 5 feet tall, kind of pretty. and she does not have a shirt on and she has this HUGE scratch mark on her back from fingernails and she walked into the living room and slowly and casually put on this nude colored leotard and all the boys were like ''ooooo.....yikes'' and i looked back at erics room and saw jacob in there for a second and he was putting his shirt back on. and then ethan goes. "wait ...what the fuck is going on" under his breath and i wanted to vomit out my heart and jacob looked at me and said 'thanks for coming over i just wanted you to see that' i stood up and said I need to leave, this is all so stupid and dumb. where are sarah and abby. where are my friends. get me out of here. and all the boys were whispering. and i just felt so STUPID.

this dream sucked.

September 15, 2009


i had a dream this summer that i went to see a dermatologist. and it happened to be whoopi goldberg. and i said wow yeah why are you this profession now, do you not get acting jobs anymore? i feel like you were reallly big in the 90s and then everyone forgot about how funny you were. she said girl, i know did you even SEE ME IN SISTER ACT 2, COME ON. and we laughed and laughed and she put this nice cold lotion on my face and no more zits


sleep talking is really weird
so is sleep farting

September 14, 2009

carmel blister

in a field at a house of someone that didn't know. i had a blister on the bottom of my foot. i picked up my heel to look at it and it was probably 2 inches in diameter. it had already popped and i lifted up the flap of skin. it was very disgusting. it was fairly clean right near where the hole was, but when i lifted up the skin i could see back into it and there was some sort of carmel substance that was really sticky. it made me want to vomit, but i was really interested in looking at it some more. so i did.

September 13, 2009


i was in my bedroom and in my dream my friend sarah johnson came over and made me tons of miniature puppets to put up in my room. little creatures with very long necks, and the puppet itself was interesting in that when you put it up on the wall it turned into a polaroid of the puppet, but as soon as you took it off the wall, it was a real tangible puppet again. i think they were made out of felted wool.

September 12, 2009


in my dream i was trying out for the pull and it was nighttime. there were all these festivities and activities that i had do in order to prove that i was ready to be a "morale girl". there was a wagon full of girls that were sitting and we had to crowd surf over them down the wagon and then continue on to the rest of the race. they were all cheering and holding their hands up until you were ready to crowd surf and then they would get straight faces and be completely still. and i tried to keep jumping on them, but they were hard as rocks and they would whisper really mean things in your ears like how you were going to die, and how you weren't strong enough to be in pull. it was really frustrating and i wished that they would just be nice to me and let me pass. i finally got through somehow and there was a race that we had to run. at certain parts we had to sprint really fast and jump as far as we could. i was running so fast and i as really proud of myself because i was really fast at sprinting.

later on in my dream i was in a house with a bunch of my friends, girls and boys. we lived in this really nice old house and there were probably 20 people living there. there were really nice hooks in the kitchen that we could each hang up our nice tea mugs on, and i was so proud of the way i decorated my room. the woman that lived there before us left the people in my room some treats like old books and stained paper and really nice old vintage clothes and scarves. it was really nice and we had really cool wallpaper that was green like a swamp with dark purple designs on it. it was also sort of see-through and you could see a grid on the wall as well. the lady told us the grid was for us, so that we could see how level paintings and things were when we decided to hang them up. then i found out that luke was my RA, even though we were no longer in college and he told me i couldn't live in that room and that i was banished to a room in the attic. i was really confused because i didn't understand why i had to follow his rules but he made me and i was mad. and my new room sucked and it was an ugly color and i didn't even have a bed.

September 10, 2009

slept on the futon

in my dream i had my desk out on our screened in front porch with all my possessions inside of it and shelves with my past notebooks and sketchbooks and art projects and loves. i woke up in the middle of the night and heard a bunch of people outside our house at 3 in the morning. i opened the door and saw that they were looking at my stuff, holding my clothes and my dresser and meercat in their hands. filtering through my journals and collecting things for themselves. i said no you cannot do this, thank you. please leave. they said since they had touched it and there was no sign that said hands off, that it was theirs to take. i said okay. okay. deep breath. yeah okay, i guess i can live without these things, just wait do you have my. NO YOU CANNOT TAKE THIS ART ITS IN THE PROCESS OF BEING MADE AND I NEED IT. i need this stuff to work on. the lady said she liked it and she wanted to use it in her house, and i said thats not even possible because its not finished yet, you haven't seen the finished product. i was screaming now, they couldn't take my supplies and unfinished things with them. i needed those in my life. with me. they took everything and suddenly i was at the house i lived in over the summer looking at the porch. it was filled with painting and drawing easels, with a sign that said ''please remove these things by september 15th, or else you will not get your rent deposit back. love, your landlord". i was pissed because i had to clean everything and plus, none of this was even ours. lindsey appeared out of thin air with a sign she made for a yard sale so we could make money off our landlord.

my phone buzzed. i got a text message. i woke up. i went back to sleep.

in my new dream i was on campus outside with my friends. we were in a space pod and kept all of our bikes inside of it. we were on a field trip of some sort. everything was really green but our teacher warned us that it was dangerous outside. rabies was running loose and our mission was to get to safety without injuring ourselves or others, and warn the civilians of the danger. santino from project runway was also in my class, and he left with me and a group of two other students. i opened the door and it had snowed the night before and i did not have shoes on. the grass was really cold and i had to run a long distance. clearly, i was pissed. wolves came out of the woods at us, santino told us to act like dogs and just lay on the ground. the two other students pretended they were trees. i ran like mad. i found this house in the middle of campus. the door was unlocked. i ran up the stairs inside and told the people they needed to get all the mirrors they could together. they had 4, two were about the size of a quarter so i said, fuck that-those don't count. just come to the window and hold them up to push the werewolves away. we all did. outside the window you could see the pine grove but it had been demolished and what was left was only bare ground that was now dirt. also there was an arena. there was a huge dog that was probably the size of a dinosaur in this arena barking and growling at people and trying to bite everything in its way. fleck and ethan were in charge of taking this dog down. they had tranquilizers that they were stabbing at the dogs neck and jumping on his back and legs. finally the dog dropped to the ground with a big thud and we were back at the space pod with our bikes. i tried to get my bike out of the pod so i could ride it but the handle bars got stuck in the door and i ripped them off. i spent the next five minutes trying to screw them back on but had no luck.

September 09, 2009


i was in a field and there was a cylinder tube probably 7 feet in length that i was holding. it was grey and looked sort of like a pez dispenser, except that it was circular. i had someone hold it and i stood away from it. from the hole of the cylinder a bunny launched gracefully onto my chest and i held it and pet it and then put it down and it hopped away. then another bunny did the same thing, and another one after that as well. this kept going for awhile. each bunny looked exactly the same as the one before, little and cute.

September 08, 2009


my dreams are milky lately. i have them and i remember them while i am dreaming, but when i wake up there is a thick layer of white over my memories. this makes it very difficult to remember anything more than a few short seconds.

September 03, 2009


i spent my entire dream calling people asking them to give my mom directions so that she could find me.

September 01, 2009

little tinky sounds

i was in a large room standing in line for something. i had not yet figured out what the something was yet. i was very confused and kept looking around but only saw a room with cement floors and white walls and pretty lighting and lots of people. some form of gallery. the line moved and a woman asked for my ticket. i began to say i didn't have one but we both looked down at my hand and saw that i was holding a ticket. it was red. i reached out and gave it to the woman. she asked me if i wanted anything to drink and i got a glass of some kind of alcohol. and asked her what we were all doing there. she looked at me funny. i turned around and before me was a very long table, probably 12 feet long. it was full of xylophones and other bell instruments, some drums and things that make little tinky sounds. sigur ros and chris martin from coldplay were behind this table playing the instruments. the music they were making sounded like little baby birds learning how to fly. i thought, how cool, i am front row at this concert. i said that aloud and no one seemed to feel the same enjoyment as i did, because they were all quiet. i walked around and saw my friend mike sitting on a red couch that was really low to the ground. the kind that make it hard to get out of when you want to stand back up. we shook hands and he said how crazy is this, huh. i said yes. i went back to the front of the stage and listened to more tinky bird music.

August 29, 2009

roller skates

in my dream we were all sitting around outside talking about how cool the past was, how we wished we grew up in the 70s and everything. we decided that we were just going to make it the 70s, and we weren't going to mess around anymore just wishing. i jumped on my friends back in excitement and when i opened my eyes, everyone had different outfits on and the world looked like it was a different color. my friend chris and i were in disco outfits and we had roller skates on. we also knew a choreographed dance to "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee-Gees, and performed it for everyone. There were a lot of hand motions and spinning.

one from summer

good real life|dream life day:

awake: i was taking a walk around grand rapids by myself, having a great time smiling and seeing and feeling beauty. i was outside of a house with white picket fence in the front yard and came to understand why it is a dream of many humans to live with one in their future. i was repeating the words white picket fence out loud, not realizing everyone driving by was probably wondering why i was talking to myself. a butterfly flew in front of my head. i said hey! then, a bird sat on a fence post and it was the most beautiful bird i've seen. it was loaded with the color that i feel is really important to have in life. the body of the bird was bright green/yellow. it had black wings with white stripes on them almost in the shape of bones. then it flew away and i wondered all the way home about what i had just seen. apparently i wondered about it so much and so long it was in my dream.

sleep world: i asked everyone around me if they had seen this kind of bird before. i used big hand motions to try to describe it's beauty but i couldn't figure out how to explain the color. finally someone said "yes! i have seen those, there is a whole field of them under a tree in the park down the road. they fall out of the trees though, and most of the them die on impact. it is very sad, i'm surprised you saw one, they are very rare because they die so young." i ran to the field where my friend said the birds were. i didn't see any bird except one, and it was falling from the tree, which was actually the sky. when i looked up the tree trunk i realized the whole sky was one big tree branch and the whole air above me was covered in a ceiling of green leaves. it wasn't sad though, all the dead birds. because they had all come back to life as bunnies. so the field was full of bunnies hopping around. and i started hopping around and clapping my hands because i couldn't believe my luck!

brain thoughts

does red dye really make your dreams more intense?
is it possible for a reoccurring dream to happen in the same night and with two separate people. as in, could two people have the very same dream on the very same night?

we should have tapes that record the songs that we make up in our dreams.
we should have tapes that record the smiles we make in our dreams.
we should have tapes that record the dreams that we have about other people having funny haircuts so they can see it for themselves
we should have tapes that record the dreams we have about perfect dates so they can publish it for all the people out there wondering what a perfect date would look like
we should have tapes that tape up the good dreams on the inside of our brains for later use.

i think it could be a rule that if you do something stupid in real life, you are allowed to do the same thing but in a smart way in your dream and see what the different outcomes could be.

dreams involving water are really good dreams.

August 27, 2009

back to school

back back back. 

had a dream last night that i was wearing a huge basketball jersey as a dress and had a lid on, basically i as dressed like a fool. i was running to the administration office and was really nervous so i was curving and uncurling the rim of my hat and it was making really weird shapes. everyone was staring at me telling me to slow down but i was in a hurry and really stressed out. i ran into the offices and this lady yelled at me and said i wasn't allowed back there. i said "excuse me but i just have to look at this list so if you could just please fuck off." she was very angry with me and stood right behind my back, breathing down my neck the whole time. the person i wanted to see about my schedule was gone and so i stormed out of the building. i went to our cottage and started to fill up the bathtub with hot water. i wanted really a really long bath so i turned the water on as hot as it could go so it would be hot for a long time. i took all the honey we had in our cabinets and poured it in the water. all my friends were at the house and i said i was taking a bath if anyone wanted to join me. turns out everyone did. so while the water was filling up i was thinking, debating the whole time if i should just go in naked or if i should wear a bathing suit or if all of that was too much of a hassle to think about and i would just go in my underwear. the bathtub morphed into not a bathtub so that everyone could fit. the structure of it was made out of furniture. couches lined up together forming a rectangle, and the water was staying inside of it fine. except for the part that i was going to be in, there was a gap between the couches and everyone said if i turned the water off it would all slosh out my side unless i used my body as a barrier. this was stressful to me because all i wanted was a nice honey bath by myself. that room disappeared, and the next thing i knew i was eating dog food reading a book My Friend, The River. i was surprised in my dream, because i was aware that wasn't an actual book and those words belonged in my real life somehow. but the book was beautiful, one of the best i had ever read, so i started eating the pages and they tasted like a combination of flowers, sunlight, color, and sugar. i kept looking around me and noticing we had all this storage space, but weren't using it to it's full potential. i kept saying those words aloud, "full potential, full potential" until i woke up.

June 02, 2009


to anyone who actually reads this but mostly just for me to read later:

living in grand rapids this summer. we are too poor to afford internet. sometimes i go to a coffee shop and check my email. basically i won't be writing my dreams this summer through internet form, but i still have them sometimes. and i still write them down if they are funny and good.

May 26, 2009

oh another chris thile dream

i took nyquil last night because i am sick. i slept a lot longer than normal, i think that is why this dream is so long, and annoying.
my friend marlee and i bought tickets to see chris thile playing with a full orchestra. the website we bought the tickets from said he was opening up for fergie at our rival high school in new york. we went to the show at 7:30 and were ready and preparing ourselves to watch him play. when the show started it was actually just high schoolers doing covers of fergies songs in really stupid outfits. i said, i think we missed him opening for her- or are we in the wrong building or something, this is all just weird. marlee said we should wait it out and see, so we stayed a few more songs and it was horrendous and putting me in a terrible angry mood. i walked out and looked for the ticket booth sales showed them my ticket and said, where is chris thile playing. he is not in that auditorium with the fergie wanna-be's. the two older women in the booth smirked and said oh yeah its fine, don't worry about it he will be playing. so i went back and watched some more from the back, realized they were lying to me and went back to the ticket booth. there was one semi nicer lady and one lady that was an evil bitch. i was talking to the nicer lady saying listen, i paid money to see JUST chris thile, not fergie so i really am wanting to make sure i get to see him tonight or else i will be really pissed. just tell me whats going on and then everything will be fine. the evil one said if you bought your ticket to support the arts, you should be doing that and just wait around and maybe you'll see him later. i said shutup. i was getting angry. the nicer one gave me a slip of paper and told me that this would help me figure it out. i was angry, i took the paper, went to the auditorium opened the door and yelled for marlee. the whole place looked at me, they were angry but i didn't care because i was more angry. i said CHRIS THILE ISN'T PLAYING HERE SO LETS JUST GO, WE'RE DOING THIS TOGETHER. i didn't know what that meant but i said it anyways. marlee was angry too but confused about what was going on, so she followed me. i read her the paper and said it was going to be fine, but then realized it was not going to be fine because of what was written on this thing in my hands. i ran back to the ticket booth and pushed everyone out of the way and started yelling at the ladies. they had sold me a treasure map, and basically i had to drive my car around the city collecting clues and filing out puzzles in order to then come back to this very same book and then receive my ticket to see chris thile opening up for the 'real' fergie. i was yelling everything i could at these ladies i took my shoes off and threw them around the room, i started panting and cursing, and they were stone faced behind the booth. 'yeah thats what you have to do these days, sorry' i was livid and marlee was angry too. we could not believe this. i was about to throw punches. i woke up. my nose was full of snot.

May 22, 2009


no remembered dreams lately
its fine though.

May 18, 2009

bus rides

in my dream i was sitting on a bus in a bus seat. in front of me was my friend from college. he was sitting in a seat too. we were both on the left side of the bus. then some girl from my highschool came over and started kissing his neck and giving him a hickey. i wished that the seat was higher so i couldn't see the whole thing.

May 14, 2009


in my dream i was looking outside my window, and in the window frame was the moon. big and beautiful. and full. then another moon went in front of it and i could see all the phases of the moon right before my eyes in about 30 seconds. once the second moon was past the first one it started moving backwards, so the whole thing happened again. the sky was navy blue and so so pretty.

this is hard to explain, but it was nice and good.

May 09, 2009

rainy sleepover

last night i had a dream that i was going on a bike ride with my two roommates and a friend of ours. we picked her up at her house and we were going to meet up with our friends to sleep outside under the stars. the place they told us to meet them was on the lawn outside of a zoo. we started riding bikes to the zoo, and paid admission to get inside, but then we found out that you could have just gone around the side and got in for free. a security guard found out we weren't there for the zoo and he was pissed at us. he started running after us and i got to a window where there were baby zombie chickens staring out the window. i knew that if i touched them in their state of being frozen, i too would become a zombie chicken. so i opened the window and saw that i wasn't on the ground floor and would have to jump quite a distance to get to the ground. the guard was right at my heels, so i leaped out and flew down. i hit the ground and started running, running down these long stairs, skipping at least 5 steps at a time. i soon got to my friends on the lawn and it started raining a lot. i said 'you guys didn't plan this out very well.' then i woke up

May 02, 2009


in my dream i was at the airport with two of my friends, they were flying somewhere and i was going to study abroad in new zealand. i was really excited but also sort of nervous. when we were walking over to baggage claim there was a man who kept following us asking us to help him. support him and lend him some money because he hadn't been home to see his wife in three years. we all were very scared and tried to get away from him but he kept following us, and being really creepy. there was another man in line with us and we whispered to him that we needed help and he said okay i'll do it. so he yelled through the airport "hello, is anyone willing to be a hero today! anyone, we need a hero"

 the only person who raised their hand was the scary guy and he said ''I'LL BE THE HERO TODAY'' he made us all get on the ground and said it wasn't his intention to kill anyone but if we were going to play that game then he was going to play along. he threw this thing in the air and it bounced off the wall and landed right near me, the man told me to pick it up and look at it. there was a three minute timer on the phone and the phone was shaped like a grenade. i was very scared and i was holding someones hand. i woke myself up because i was sweating and didn't like the dream.

then i went back to sleep and was still in the same airport in the same room but this time the man wasn't there and i was getting ready to go on the plane. they told me that i was to be sent on a military plane and that it went through the water and i had to shoot sharks that came to close to the engine. i wasn't trained for this so i was really bad at it and the simulator voice kept telling me i had weak arms.

i blinked and was no longer on a plane or in an airport but was on the ground, crawling like a seal. i was wearing a tracksuit and there were people sprinting all around me-i was in a race, i could see the finish line. but the problem was i had no legs. i didn't want to come in last place and i knew i wasn't going to get first obviously, so i crawled so fast and was sweating and so tired. but i wiggled my way to the finish line and i looked back and i did pretty good for myself because there were still about 30 people that hadn't completed the race.

April 30, 2009

a very long dream

it was tulip time in my dream and i was walking down the street in holland by myself. i noticed there were a lot more children around campus than usual but it didn't phase me. i met up with my friends and we were playing in the park until the sun went down. all of the sudden we heard this siren and everyone but me knew what it meant. we all ran for cover, i opened up the door to this old run down house and hid in the cellar behind a wheelbarrow full of dirt. i got down on the floor and my friends ethan and adam were right next to me. i had no idea where everyone else was but was so scared for my own safety i didn't care at all.

it turns out all the kids that were around holland were actually in a gang and they came to take prisoners to their headmaster tonight. the siren was their battle cry and it meant they were coming for us. we were fairly well hidden, but apparently we had gotten into one of the buildings that was a specific gangs meeting place. they all came in, but didn't see us. one tipped over the wheelbarrow and the dirt covered us but we were very visible. the children were talking about how they needed at least two sacrifices to bring tonight and they didn't have any. one looked over and saw us, and that was the end of our hiding. we couldn't fight them because they had weapons. they ended up taking just me, they said what they really needed was someone to french braid everyones hair before the sacrificing tonight and i said i would do it if i wasn't harmed. they took me outside and there were clusters of gangs all around with captured civilians sitting on blankets. there was a large windmill in the center of the park and that is where their leader was. 

i don't remember how i got away, but i was on the run for the rest of my dream. from pirates in big dark cloaks at first, then i hopped on a train and got away from everyone for awhile. it seemed like everyone was out to get me, i trusted no one. i ended up meeting up with my brother and my other friend in a grocery store that we thought was deserted. it turns wasn't and this time there were a group of our old friends that had weapons, they needed to protect themselves from us but when we tried to tell them we weren't dangerous they became even more scared. someone shot my friend in the leg and he disappeared. i hid in the bakery section on the floor and looked out through the holes of one of the bagels at what was happening. they came over and put joe and i in these seats against the wall. they had their guns pointed at us and i thought we were going to die and was preparing myself for death.

then across the room on one of the doors a light came on and started blinking. our old friends with the weapons new immediately what this meant and huddled around the door on the ground with the weapons pointed now at the door instead of at my brother and i. we asked them what was coming out of there, and they said ''its either our saviors, or something much worse''. the door opened and there was a group of people, all in their 30s, just looking like average people-all of different ethnicities, and one of them was known around the area to be an ex-vampire. everyone with the weapons looked relieved but also surprised and shocked. someone said that they fulfilled the prophecy and that the stream always has an end. joe and i had no idea what this meant, but someone came over and told us that because both of us were sitting in the chairs that meant that the time came for rescue to appear, and that the end of the fighting was near. 

we went through the door with the blinking light on it, up an escalator to the outside world. but while we were on the escalator the ex vampire got really weird and kept trying to grab me. no one else was phased, they all just looked so happy that everything was going to work out. the vampire's nails steadily grew more pointy when he was reaching for me, saying 'you're right, there IS an end to every stream, but it can always flow backwards again.' i got pissed that this vampire wouldn't let me have a happy ending to my dream so i woke myself up.

April 27, 2009


in my dream i was made out of fabric and someone was sewing my lip onto my face, it didn't hurt at all. the string was really long and they kept wrapping it around my head and then into my lip, and they attached balloons to the string but i started floating sideways instead of up towards the sky and the person sewing me got frustrated.

April 24, 2009


my friends were all going to a party and i had to take care of someone's dog and bring it around with us that night. but this was the kind of dog that you really think is so ugly but the owner always says how cute they are so you maybe think something is wrong with you because, why isn't this dog cute to your eyeballs? and i really did think it was ugly, it looked like a sea urchin and a pig combined into dog form. for some reason it would get off it's leash and then run its head back into the loop so it just kept pissing me off. and when we left i realized that the whole front lawn was covered in huge piles of dog poop. the thing about this dog poop was that each pile was bigger than the dog itself, which made me hate this dog even more because how could a dog that little poop so many hundreds of times. and why didn't this owner ever clean it up, and why was i taking this dog to a college party.

April 23, 2009

no summer in japan

alex and i were riding bikes around town, i got a call from a girl saying we had to pick up an album from a specific house in the area. this man had the soundtrack to a movie we had just seen. a japanese composer who created beautiful scores for movies and plays. as soon as i said i would find the house my bike became really hard to pedal and i couldn't get up the hill. the girl on the phone said i needed to get to 'Limb' street which thankfully was the street i was on, i turned right and saw the house. i went inside and the girl on the phone was there, playing music on a huge phonograph. she told us that the album when translated was called ''There's No Summer in Japan''. every song on the album, after translation was the same word, so there were eight tracks on the album all having the same song title.

April 22, 2009


i was in a big long hallway with lots of rooms and closets. they were full of costumes that people were putting on. we were going to be in a parade, or going to a costume party, i never really figured out which. we had a limited amount of time to get ready and i couldn't find a costume that fit me or one that i would want to wear, i was having a really hard time deciding. everyone else had really neat costumes and found all the best ones and i got upset because there weren't any good ones left and i was in such a hurry, so i was a giant hotdog. those ones that are stupid and floppy fabric with a cut-out hole for your head and you just look dumb. i was upset.

April 14, 2009


i was in a hotel in arizona with 3 of my friends and someone's mom and we were in a really big suite. the mom turned a light on and there were all these lizards on the ground that came with the theme of the room. one crawled up my leg and up my pants and it tickled so bad. then the little lizard crawled on my arm and i laughed some more.

April 11, 2009


i was a side order on lost and there was something about time travel in my dream that was important but we didn't know where in time we were, but we were on the black rock. and rousseau was older but she didn't know who we were and she also didn't know what year it was. i think we were on the island before 1977, because the black rock looked really new and there wasn't anything growing on it, and also the island looked different as well. someone kept saying "get richard, get richard" and someone else said that "it hadn't happened yet, so he wouldn't be able to come to us anyways." 


everyone kept pinching my butt and i couldn't figure out who did it. it was really frustrating in dream world, as i'm sure it would be in/(on) the real world as well.

April 09, 2009


in a hotel with my friend and we tried to sneak up to see the biggest room in the place but the tv was on so we got scared. holding hands walking up so many flights of stairs and then sitting on a big wooden seat. i don't remember the rest. 

April 03, 2009

mountain dew baby

my brother and i were driving in florida on the highway and he wanted to stop at a gas station and get a drink, so i stopped and he got one. joe gets back in the car and puts his drink in the cup holder. i look at it closely and realize there is a baby inside of the bottle. just a little fetus floating around in the mountain dew. i said joe what the heck, don't you know what this means. you have female organs inside of you somehow or else how else would you give birth to a baby if you are a boy, even though its a virgin birth. but he said no, i bought it and i didn't realize it was in there. so we showed some man at another rest stop, he said it wouldn't be healthy for the baby to keep soaking in the mountain dew into it's bloodstream, so he pulled the baby out by its head and we took it out and put it in a water bottle, because water is good for babies. then the baby grew to be a normal sized baby and we took it out of the water and i held him and he was so cute and snuggly like a little bear. and i wanted to hold him forever. i decided to take care of the baby and adopt him and raise him. i kept yelling, don't worry about it, i'm a single mother in college raising money so i can support my child. 

April 02, 2009


haven't had any dreams i can fully remember in so many nights. this one is hazy and uneventful but! its a dream and i am happy i have them. i was giving a presentation in my class which i get very nervous about IRL and surprisingly still get nervous about them in my dreams. i remember my hands were really wet because i was so nervous and sweating. they were like sponges almost. my group was supposed to present for 10 minutes and i think i spoke for a total of 3 seconds, and then this boy in our group went nuts and i remember him plugging a book he had just written, and then another that his dad wrote as well. and i thought hey, this has nothing to do with our presentation but the book cover to your novel seems really nice. but also it's been thirty minutes and our teacher wants to tell us to sit down now.

March 22, 2009


ll cool j has been in my dream the last three nights in a row. i'm not sure why. he doesn't do anything cool, he's usually just standing around and not saying anything. its starting to get annoying.

March 20, 2009


i had a dream that i was at college and my brother was coming to visit for about a week during his 20th birthday. we were having a party for him to celebrate and everyone had brought beer over with them and it was all over the house. all of the sudden, my parents walked in and i became really nervous, because i promised i wouldn't celebrate joe's birthday this way. i had them sit in the living room. and i looked outside and there was a keg sitting in the driveway, apparently my dad had bought it .. as a joke, and said joe couldn't have it until next year. people kept coming in and i had to tell them to be quiet about the drinking because my mom was doing sudoku in the other room. my parents left for awhile and i cleaned up the house, and put all the beer in the fridge in our basement. when my dad came back he said he needed to put the keg somewhere cold, so he started bringing it downstairs. someone had re-done our basement carpet and duct-taped strips of green and black carpet on the walls and the floors. i told my dad about the beer and he said it was okay, just that it shouldn't happen again. and then there was chocolate cake everywhere, everyone had pieces that were the size of books. and i was carrying one around the basement, and i stepped on a piece of cake and there was one laying on the stairs. i said 'can i have a fork?' to no one in particular. a big hand came out of no where and orangutang slapped my cake and said 'whats your name again'. this honestly made me laugh so hard in my dream that i woke up. i wrote it down on a piece of paper next to my head because i thought this dream was so important, but now that i am typing it out i realize that its not all that funny or good.

March 18, 2009


in my dream my friend jacob was crying. but not in the way that was like full out crying. he just was sitting there and every couple of seconds a tear would come out of his eye and he would watch it roll down his cheek. a group of us sat in a circle and watched him watch himself cry. it was very strange. and very silent. but it was very beautiful, so much that we sat for hours not speaking to each other, entranced by the movement of a tear rolling down a human cheek.

March 14, 2009


i was at school and ratatat was going to play a show on the beach at a bonfire and everyone was there, and i mean everyone. there were a lot of football players in full uniform. there were old people. there were the children of all our professors. we all had smores. i had to pee really bad and i was nervous that the show would start but i ran across the street into the bathroom and quick went, but then realized that the reason why they hadn't started playing was because the keyboard player was practicing in the room next to me. it was probably smaller than my dorm room, with no windows, but a lot of tiny tiny seats my feet kept stepping on.

i went over to him and he told me he was nervous because he had been practicing this new song all day but he couldn't get it right. it was called Wings for Beethoven, and the only reason i remember that is because he then said 'you haven't heard it because its on our dvd which hasn't been released yet.' he gave me a signed copy and let me watch a little of the song and it was beautiful, probably the prettiest one they've done. which was a lot of pressure then because they were going to play it for the first time live tonight at our school. so i said oh you'll do great, come play! everyone is so excited. and then this big girl came in the room and said she went to the same high school as him and he said yeah, okay. and then she was pissed because she didn't get a signed copy of their unreleased dvd, and i did.

i went outside and there was a bonfire because it was now dark out. i kept throwing up this feather in the air and when you spun around the feather would stay floating in the air for longer. it was really beautiful. but ratatat didn't play in my dream because they were still setting up when i woke up to real life.

March 12, 2009

harry potter

nap time:

i was harry potter, and my dream was set in the movie the prisoner of azkaban so the majority of it was just me walking around doing the same things he does in the movie. except then things got different and we were in the basement of a castle with empty buckets of paint everywhere. snape said something fishy was going on, students were missing and i had to figure it out. he kept calling me potter and for the first time i understood why that is actually annoying to harry IR...L? i go outside and i am in a field of wheat and i see ron levitating a couple inches above the ground but still upright like he is standing, but more just floating. and he is petrified and his hair is blowing in the wind, but that is the only thing that is blowing. a few feet away i see a couple more students i don't know, then cho and hermione a few feet away from them. they are all just floating and their hair is the only thing that is moving. this is weird and it is creepy, but i'm not scared. its assumed that voldemort did this, common knowledge in my dream i suppose. then i see neville longbottom walking off in the distance up a hill. i can't see his face, but i can see his silhouette and i know it's him. he is humming and dragging his wand on the stalks like a stick on a fence. he is being severely creepy, but i am still not scared. because i am harry potter. i go to walk up to him to figure out why he is doing this, calm and collected but instead of course, i wake up.

March 10, 2009

another chris thile dream

i had a dream that chris thile had another album that he released a couple years ago titled Come Share and i didn't have it and everyone kept talking about all the songs that were on it and how they were critically acclaimed. and it was the best album they had ever heard, and these songs would change your life. but i could never get my hands on it, which made me really sad and i never got to hear it. and i woke up cold because i slept with my window open.

March 06, 2009

never again

slept walk for the first time in my life last night
woke up three rooms down from mine
in some girls bed
while she was sleeping in it

what the fuck.

March 01, 2009

time/vending machine

i was playing golf with my dad and he let me bring some friends. every time i tried to hit the ball it would shrink to the size of a marble. if i thought about what a golf ball looked like when i closed my eyes it would grow back to normal, but once i opened my eyes again it would begin to shrink if i didn't concentrate enough. i got very frustrated and this caused me to change locations of the dream. i ended up being at my old job except it was raining and the roof was leaking and the doors squeaked when you pushed them open. all of my friends were in the room and they were wanting to go to a party but i was still upset about how i will never be good at golf and so i started yelling and went to look for my yearbook.
i decided to walk back to my house which in real life is probably 7 or 8 miles away. it was night out and raining but i started walking anyway. i got about half way there when i blinked and i was back in that building, looking for my yearbook. i didn't know how i got there. my boss pulled me into a room and told me behind the vending machine there is a lever and creates a portal. there was a crack in the floorboard and when by peeking in, you could see lightening waiting to be released. controlled lightening is the secret to time travel.
i pulled the lever, then pushed it back up, looked into the crack in the floor and then i was at my house. five seconds after that, i was back at work in that same room-but a week later. i was doing the same thing and the same people were there, and i had my yearbook again except this time i didn't look into the crack. when i went to push the vending machine back to cover the lever, my boss came up looking really upset at me. she didn't know what i was doing, even though she was the one that showed me it was there a week before. then i remembered that it was her subconscious that had sent me this information in the past. her subconscious had kept this a secret from her conscious mind, and that is why she didn't know there was a portal in her building. i woke up.

February 26, 2009


in my dream there was a narrator, and i was a 13 year old amish girl. my mom put my 3 year old sister in a birdcage and told me i had to carry her around in that. we walked to the airport where my sister was harassed by a group of school boys in uniforms. i took a different hallway so we wouldn't get beaten up. we flew to pittsburgh where there was a baseball game. my old friend from my previous life was the catcher for the team, i gave him a kiss and he played very well. the narrator said that times were so hard, my sister would end up getting pregnant and having a child by the age of four. eventually we would end up homeless, or something along those lines. then i woke up.

February 23, 2009


dream that i was back in high school, walking up to the bus stop. there were leaves all around on the ground and i couldn't fly but if i walked in a circle i could levitate maybe a foot in the air if i kept my feet moving. i had on a dress that swirled around when i spun.
i couldn't find joe because he left the house after me. the bus came really early and i said i couldn't get on because i had to be with my brother. the bus left, then joe came up the road to pick me up in my moms van. we drove back to our house and it was summer on our street. the driveway was empty, so our parents were gone. and the house was locked, so we had no way of getting to school- since joe is grounded from driving and i choose not to. angelina jole came out from our backyard and she said she could drive us to school, because she was my aunt. but then joe disappeared again. every time i looked at my watch it was 4:20 and i was so nervous that my boss was going to fire me, because how would she believe me even if i told her what had happened. angelina kept saying the words series of unfortunate events until i told her she should probably leave our house since she was no help to us.

February 22, 2009

my eyes are tired

February 20, 2009


i was at a friends house and there was dirt on my palm. i went to the sink to get it off and i could feel a really big blister right in the center of my hand, the more i washed my hands the bigger i realized it was. i started picking at it and ended up peeling a whole layer of my skin off. but it wasn't just on my palm, it was like a mold of my whole hand, and with it my index finger came off. it had been disconnected from my hand the whole time and when i removed the blister it came too. so i had 4 fingers and immediately i knew that this meant i could never make anything anymore. i tried to put my finger back on but even with it back on my hand and fingers couldn't bend or work correctly. oh i was so sad. and so shocked, this wasn't the plan for my life!!! i wanted to be okay with this, and be okay that i could never write or draw or create ever again. i cried so much in my dream. sitting on my knees and just looking at this finger that was no longer a part of my body. everyone said it was okay, the lord has a different plan for you, and i said i know i'm okay with whatever happens. but i wasn't. i was not okay with it as many times as i repeated it out loud and to myself. i woke up in sweat.

February 19, 2009


i was at a bookstore getting 173 dollars worth of books about dinosaurs and elephants and bears for my research project that is due in a week, but my backpack was so full i didn't know how to carry everything, so the cashier gave me a plastic laundry basket to put my books in. i wanted to make sure i put them in the right order because there was one ruth krauss book that i had bought for my own personal reading because in real life, i really like her work. it was about an elephant with bear ears and the cover was green i remember, and maurice sendak did the illustrations again and the whole time in my dream i could not stop thinking about when i could read that book.

there was a really long slanted hallway out to the road that i needed to get to so i put the basket on the ground and sat on top of my books and slid the whole way down. the street i had to cross was extremely busy but i had a limited amount of time to cross, because i needed to be at the health food city for a period of 10 minutes to get a sandwich and then get back across the street to catch the bus that would bring me back to school. there were cars and really tall busses zooming by. i put a boy that was my lab partner in the basket along with my books and pushed him across the road, grabbed my backpack full of all the art i've ever done in my life and ran across the street. the cars on the busy street immediately turned into people, a traffic jam of humans and i couldn't get through.

i sat down at a table with my mom at this restaurant and eavesdropped for awhile. the girl in front of us says '' i need to figure things out about my life and plan important things out like this, i'm 14. i just need to know when the appropriate time for me to pierce my nose is.'' and started talking about her younger siblings and describing them to her friend as if she were being interviewed for a magazine. i got so fed up with this girl. i opened my mouth and words started coming out in her direction. saying how stupid she was and why was she sitting at our table and how i had seen her at horseback riding camp. that she couldn't even reach the stirrups because she was so small and to have fun with her nose. and to be sure to tell me all the other ways she was planning on slowly ruining her life. apparently i was being a jerk because she looked really offended and embarrassed for being such an idiot in public.

i crossed the human traffic jam and turned around was in my dorm room writing in a notebook, the kind that flips open and has wide ruled lines on yellow pages. the kind i don't like in real life. and i was writing and people kept coming in and tickling me and giving me tea. saying how proud they were that i was doing work and that i should take my cardigan off so i could receive an actual hug. but i didn't know what that meant so i just said no thanks.

February 17, 2009


in my dream. i had a zit on my face right under my lip. it was blue and i kept picking at it. and then i realized that it was blue because there was mouthwash in the actual zit. which made my face smell minty, but i picked it and then i was free of visitors on my face.

i honestly don't know why i have dreams like this,
and considering this is the first dream i've had in over a week
i am severely disappointed.

February 09, 2009


the trees had feathers
and the birds had leaves
it was very quiet
it was very beautiful

February 08, 2009


i had a dream that adam brody was my boyfriend and we were sitting in the basement with my family and the power went out. i had to pee so i went outside to go, and i heard gunshots and there were hunters fighting with my neighbor and he had a shotgun and was threatening them. adam brody came out and got my dog away from the fight and told them to all be rational and i said oh you are a good boyfriend to me. then we went inside, and i gauged my monroe piercing and it didn't even hurt, but it looked sort of weird.